Review: Dickies Double-Knee Painter Pants in Natural

I’ve wanted to pen this review a for a while now but mainstream media has consistently managed to snipe my beat before I full send the article out into the universe. Condé Nast, Gear Patrol, and New York Mag have all given these pants some play in the last few months, but I’ve decided that I can’t let corporations dictate what I write about.

Just as I am now liberated from the shackles of other media, the Double-Knee Painter Pants have now liberated my outfit from the shackles of the pant color. While most other pants out there place constraints on the range of footwear or top that could be paired with them, the DKPP, obviously pronounced ‘dick pee pee’, go well with everything. Mix ’em with different genres like classic menswear or high fashion for the artsy Parsons student look.

For what you’re getting, the Double-Knee Painters are a steal. I count 10 additional pieces of cloth not typically found on other pants: 4 extra pockets, 2 knee fabrics, 2 extra belt loops, and 2 hammer loops. Plus, no pants at this price point, except maybe Dickies’ own 874 work pant, pack as much cultural clout.

If there were one thing I want you to take away from this article, though, it wouldn’t be how well they fit, how comfy they wear or how much clout per dollar they give you. It would be the utility of those hammer loops, especially now that you’re working from home. Here’s a list of non-hammer items you could fit in there:

1. Bell’s Two Hearted Ales. Alcohol and coronavirus, name a more iconic duo.
2. Purell. That uncomfortable bulge will most definitely remind you to sanitize.
3. Your kid. One leg goes in each loop and the pants basically carries your baby for you.
4. A bandana. An accented touch that elevates your entire fit.
5. A mic receiver. Yup, I know you’re trying to start a podcast.

Get your blue collar cosplay fix directly from Dickies. A 32W is a 32′ measured flat.

Published by Brian

Reviewer Extraordinaire

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: