Review: Anonymous Ism Socks

This is the sock of choice of Instagram boot guys who are oblivous to the fact that heritage workwear has not been culturally relevant for more than 5 years now and don’t see the irony that appropriating workwear is just as phony as avant garde fashion. And yes, I’m throwing shade at myself here. I have 6 of these and I’ve taken more boot-sock-selvedge pics in the past year that I would dare to admit.

Anonymous Ism makes a shit ton of different models, but they can be loosely categorized by construction method into two groups — intarsia and jacquard. Jacquard knits, the ones people usually refer to when talking about the brand, tend to have the appearance of loose threads on the inside and feel more textured, whereas intarsia knits look and feel softer and more 2-dimensional.

Left: Jacquard Knit. Right: Intarsia Knit.

The material composition varies with the patterns and colors involved, but expect some combination of cotton, acrylic, polyester, wool, nylon or polyurethane. I’ve found that ones with a higher proportion of cotton have a better hand feel, whereas the acrylic dominant ones tend to stand out in color more due to the material’s color retention and sheen qualities.

Enough technical talk. We highly cultured, postmodernist dressers know that clothing’s true value is in the feeling it brings us and not in its technical merits (that’s racist, or so Marx Derrida anarcho-communists have had me believe). When I’m seated, I feel all my insecurities and lack of accomplishment in life wash away knowing that other people are seeing those beautiful knits beneath my (obviously) selvedge cuffs.

Shallow, sure. But after you unpromptedly barrage them with the fact that they were made on a machine that can only make 50 pairs a day, think of the number of people who now see you as a true connoisseur. These days, even locals (née normies, plebians, the uneducated masses) have come to see ‘Made in Japan’ as a true taste flex.

These socks are available at your favorite multi-brand retailers at a retail price of about $30 a pair, but you can regularly get them for under $20 bucks on sale. Large-footed readers should stick to intarsia as the jacquard versions are notoriously difficult to put on (even as a Brannock size 8 myself) and shrink temporarily after every wash.

Published by Brian

Reviewer Extraordinaire

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